Aidan and I have already had the serious talk about how Grandpa might die. But, since we do not know for sure what's going to happen and when, I have been emphasizing the "we don't know" part of things. Myself, I get more pessimistic with every update. I'm a pessimist. I do that. I just would like to prevent myself from projecting that pessimism onto Aidan. If I need to cry, I cry. And when I do so, I tell Aidan that I'm worried about Grandpa. I get hugs. I let him talk about it when he needs to. For the most part, though, I'd like to let him have his innocence in this situation for as long as is practical.

We'll be back to Buffalo in two weeks regardless of the stuff with my dad.

When Aidan sees me worried, though, he knows I'm worried primarily about Grandpa. The strength is more to keep my pessimism here in LJ and around my adult friends. The worry is there regardless, and would be regardless of prognosis. Aidan doesn't need to know that I sometimes try and imagine what my dad would look like laid out for his wake. However, I answer any questions he asks frankly. He just asked me if Grandpa might die. I said, "Yes, but we don't know for sure." I also told him if he has any questions about Grandpa, we can talk about them honestly.

I'm sorry if I came across as keeping more from Aidan than I am. I just feel a tendency to expound on the gorey details when I am talking about it to adult friends.

I really appreciate your support. I could use some visity time one of these days, if just to share some hugs in person. ***hugs, loves, and prays too***