I agree, I used to totally worry about assault. I've known quite a few people who have been assaulted because of who they are. I think at some point, though... I got mad. I think I got mad at... "people in society who would assault someone for being who they are," and that the mere fact that they and their threat existed was keeping me from being myself. I got so mad, in fact, that I said, to hell with them, and dress and act how I want. Now, when I imagine being assaulted, instead of envisioning their rage and attack on me, I envision my own rage at what they do to people, and how they force people to live in fear, and my attack on them.
Somehow my attack on them seems much more focused and powerful than their paltry attack, and I always manage to beat all 4 of them. (in my mind, there are always 3 or 4 of them.)
Of course, if I'm in a really bad neighborhood, I take steps to look unattackable, and less conspicuous. I mean, if someone just wanted my wallet, they wouldn't inspire the rage that a homophobic group would. I think when I do get even the tiniest sense that someone is targeting me for how I look or whatever, now, that rage builds up in me to the point where it is quite visible... and they usually back away slowly.
Not that I've ever been approached like that... I'm just saying, if there are people hanging out in front of a store, or in a store, or somewhere like that... looking at me and sneering. They usually aren't openly sneering at me for long. I don't sneer back... it's just something in how I walk that changes. It's kind of an attack walk. Hard to explain. Very serious and angry and prepared and aware.
Or, it could just be that I'm paranoid and I imagine all of these things.
no subject
Somehow my attack on them seems much more focused and powerful than their paltry attack, and I always manage to beat all 4 of them. (in my mind, there are always 3 or 4 of them.)
Of course, if I'm in a really bad neighborhood, I take steps to look unattackable, and less conspicuous. I mean, if someone just wanted my wallet, they wouldn't inspire the rage that a homophobic group would. I think when I do get even the tiniest sense that someone is targeting me for how I look or whatever, now, that rage builds up in me to the point where it is quite visible... and they usually back away slowly.
Not that I've ever been approached like that... I'm just saying, if there are people hanging out in front of a store, or in a store, or somewhere like that... looking at me and sneering. They usually aren't openly sneering at me for long. I don't sneer back... it's just something in how I walk that changes. It's kind of an attack walk. Hard to explain. Very serious and angry and prepared and aware.
Or, it could just be that I'm paranoid and I imagine all of these things.
*shrugs*
sorry, hope this wasn't totally un-useful.