felicula | (no subject)

What's in a birthname?

Ever since I first held that medical record up to the light to try to see the impressions left by the impact of the typewriter, I was convinced that my birthname was either Connor Adrienne or Adrienne Connor. On a whim, I slid my file down from the shelf, exhumed that familiar, aging, yellow sheet, and held it perpendicular to the brightest light in the room. The black marker gave way, revealing the ghosts of my first name.

Connor Adriane

Not much of a difference, I know, but in the search for birthparents a few short letters can mean the difference between a search completed and a search that will remain unfinished. I know. Mine is still unfinished. It may never be finished. The eeriest part was finding this on a subsequent search. So close, yet so unlikely. Then again, what if one of my birthparents reused the name?

I'm crazy. I know it. Grasping at straws and fraying edges. Why do I feel like my search is never over? The search for a culture -- a genetic heritage -- to call my own haunts me like those blackened shadows.

Threaded | Flat

Why do I feel like my search is never over?

Because it's not. You haven't found your answers, so you keep searching. I think that's more than understandable. I hope you do find them someday.

*hugs you tightly and loves you much*

Sarah Burton.

Mother: Virginia Burton.

I am here with you.

*snuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuggles*