felicula | (no subject)

This week's weigh-in, I was down to 236.5. I was gleeful at that without any other thoughts. Then, today, something occurred to me that brought me to tears.

After my stint of bulimia in high school, I used to either say or think to myself that that was the best 40 pounds I'd ever lost. Considering that at my highest last summer I was 279, I am down by more than 42 pounds. I cannot and WILL NOT ever say that the bulimia weight loss is the best. NOT EVER AGAIN!

This -- this right here -- is the best 40 pounds I have ever lost. I can still eat cookies. I can still eat fudge. I still indulge in meringues and go out to eat once in a while. Exercise is more a hobby than a chore now. I feel great. I have more energy than ever. My skin is softer. I feel stronger. I am not beating myself up. I am eating healthier and tastier. I can still lunch on SpaghettiOs with Meatballs if I am so inclined. I don't have the worry of who's going to walk in if I throw up, or whether I'm going to injure myself doing so. Neither do I have the problem of deprivation dieting followed by binging. I eat when I am hungry. I drink when I am thirsty. I move my body around. I have a better sex life. It is great!

I can't say it enough. This is the best 40 pounds I've ever lost.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Congratulations! As someone who still battles disordered eating nd body image, I'm extra super proud of you!

Thank you very much. This will still be challenging me for the rest of my life, but it feels excellent to be at a point where I know I am making progress and I know that sticking with it will keep up the progress. I wish you strength and motivation in your own battle with it!