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I struggle with body image issues. With that in mind, I find The Belly Project fascinating. There is such a range in bellies shown anonymously there: real women, not television clones or magazine paper dolls.
I struggle with body image issues. With that in mind, I find The Belly Project fascinating. There is such a range in bellies shown anonymously there: real women, not television clones or magazine paper dolls.
Today's web surfing led me through a Google image search for the word "rubenesque." Among the fine art photographs and BBW photo personals, I stumbled upon an ad campaign that unfortunately didn't make it very far in America. (It seems Mattel sent them a cease and desist order.)
( Am I the only one who would want a doll like this? )
Seriously. I would love to have a doll like that around. When I was young, I used to enjoy creating clothes for my larger dolls. (I never owned Barbies.)
What do you think?
Going along with my weight and health issues post earlier, here's an excellent post about how to support someone with an eating disorder which
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phinnia posted on her own journal. Helpful stuff in there. In high school I was full-on bulemic. More recently I was a binge eater. I'm still struggling with these things even though I've come a long way.Between the refreshing cold, the sunny sky, and my re-acknowledged need to get back in shape, I decided to head out for a walk in the snowless, chill still-life of the local landscape. I strapped on those longtime friends of mine, my hiking boots. I remembered that even my cold tolerant skin could use an extra jacket, a hat, and a pair of gloves, and proceeded to remind myself of just why I should be doing this much more often.
With the wave of depression that came after my hysterectomy, I fell back into my habits of emotional eating. I admit, after all that work losing weight last year, I am almost back up to where I was. A week or so ago, I weighed in at 260 lbs. Ouch.
Worse than the weight itself, I can feel the negative effects it is having on my heart and lungs. I can't walk as far or as fast without overdoing it. I feel thick, stiff, and heavy, as if I have a lead vest harnessed around my middle. My derrière and my thighs feel equally weighed down. As much as I enjoy walking, and like the park down the street for walking in, it was hard work. Granted, it's the kind of hard work that I really need to do more often.
Tomorrow evening I intend to go to the Rochester Women's Community Chorus to see how that works out for me. If I am going to be singing, I owe it to myself to work on my lung capacity, my abdominal strength, and my breath support. If for no other reason, this should motivate me to bring a little more motion into my life. I have no desire to be a shapeless stick figure, but I do want to be able to breath deeply enough to hold my own in a song without grabbing way too many catch breaths.
I have a bad habit of obsessing over goals. Granted, that got me from my high of 273 down to 212-ish last year. Still, I don't want to end up right back where I am now next year. I want to strike a healthy, sustainable balance. Wish me luck and perseverance?
Woo Hoo! Despite our asston of Chinese Takeout (granted, less than the asston we used to buy in a given order...), despite the fact that my main form of exercise last week was walking, and despite having ice cream for dessert almost every night, I am down to 220. That's a mere one pound away from my second 10% of my body weight lost. I have a feeling that I can do this... ;) It's now 59 pounds lost from my maximum. I think it's time for some bike shorts and stretch pants in Large. My XLs are baggy. I'm seriously considering trying my hand at altering the regular shorts I have. Who knows how well that will go, but it'll be better than keeping them on as clown pants... Once I do my exercises today, I think I'll start on that.
For the longest time I've worn no-wire 44D bras in cotton-spandex blends. Saturday I got fitted since things had been hanging loose for some time now. She measured me at 41DD, but the 42DD no-wire cotton-spandex blend bras I got fit just fine, with shrink room to spare. It feels awesome to be properly supported again, smaller, yet with bigger breasts. Whee!
Today I spent the day doing something I hadn't in quite some time. I made bread. Mmmm. Bread. This time, rather than slavishly follow a recipe I didn't have (one for bread using 100% whole wheat flour, cooked wheat berries, and rolled oats), I looked at the range of information I had from several recipes, looked at the things I wanted to put in, and made my own. The two loaves just came out of the oven a little while ago. Warm whole wheat bread with raisins in it is very yum. :) I hope my recipe gets picked by the SparkPeople folks to be shared around.
Almost forgot to add: I'm at 226 now.
I was missing the spinach for what I had in mind for dinner tonight.
In the old days, I would give myself incentive to walk the 9/10ths of a mile to Tops by buying a dessert to bring home. With my current weight loss goals in mind, I realized that would not work. As I was lacing them on, I noticed just how ratty my old laces were getting. So, rather than purchasing a half-gallon of ice cream, I spent a little less on a new set of laces for my hiking boots.
My regular exercise is paying off. The hill between here and Tops that used to leave me winded did not this time. Not on the way there, nor on the return trip. The cold got to me more than the snow or the exertion did, through my several layers. (
mechanchaos, I wore a heavy coat.) This walk was similar to the one which would take me to the local YMCA and back. Now to apply for financial aid. I fantasize about getting back into Cybex-style strength training and having a greater variety of cardio machines to work with. And, swimming! Can't forget the swimming...
Today, I skipped the jogging, but did spend 25 minutes on the Nordic Trak. For consistency's sake, I also had 5 minutes of walking both as warm up and cool down and my habitual before-and-after stretches. When I began this adventure in weight loss, I could not make it past 8 minutes on the Nordic Trak. Now it is coming almost as easy to me as walking is.
You're witnessing me finding pieces of me I thought were lost and building new parts I never thought I would have. :)
By the way, this weigh-in I was down to 240.
The first 10% off. I've made it. In September, I weighed 272 pounds. This morning, the scale read 244. In the last month, I've lost an inch off my waist, two off my hips, and 1/4" off my neck. I feel stronger and more energetic. Some of my clothes fit better than they have in over a year. Some look like the baggy stuff on models in a weight loss commercial. If the ubiquitous shorts I wear over stretch pants didn't have a drawstring, they'd be falling off.
I am by no means to my goal, but I can safely say that I am making consistent progress.
To get my next 10% off, I need to take off about 25 pounds. 219, here I come!
Oh, and since
dawnstar tagged me, I'll do this one. The generator has made most of them unreadable on my friends page, though, so I'll just type it in myself.GUILTY PLEASURES
Culinary: Cookies and Cream Fudge -- it's sinfully delicious, but one serving is so small... (There is a nutritional info link on the recipe page.)
Literary: I still adore losing myself in the science fiction and fantasy novels I grew up on.
Audiovisual: Hands down, The Tomorrow People is my cheesy 70's British science fiction show of choice.
Musical: Alone, in my living room, you might catch me bopping along to rap, r&B, pop, or techno in French, German, Russian, Spanish, or some other language I don't speak. Some of it is as cheesy as the Heluva Good gift shop, but I just don't care.
Celebrity: These days, Johnny Depp's many theatrical incarnations can still get my bosom tingling in the way his Edward Scissorhands character did.
So, what are your guilty pleasures?
Today, as with many winter days, I went to put lotion on my abominably dry elbows only to discover that they were not abominably dry. In fact, all the little dry bumps that would prickle my fingers when I put on lotion or otherwise touch my arms were smooth and supple.
( How the hell did working on my weight help my skin? )
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