Curiosity killed the cat

ninepointsatyr, I'm still in "Holy Crow!" mode...

He has bestowed upon me a +20 Artifact of Sarah. Under promises to wear it often, and to wear it around him, he placed Sarah's leather jacket in my keeping. This is something she wore when I first knew her 11 or more years ago. This is something she personalized with her own artwork over time. I remember at least one evening it ended up around my shoulders while we were out and about. I remember it hanging on the back of the dining room chairs at my Mom's house when she was over. But, mostly, I remember her in it. In all sorts of situations, in happy times and sad, in adventures and walks to the store, in game and in life. I'm sure this jacket would be almost instantly recognizeable to so many people, perhaps hundreds. I feel as if I gain 5 renown just by putting it on.

Hell yes, I'm going to wear it. I'm going to wear it often and with deep honor and satisfaction. And I, sure as Life, am going to come back and wear it around ninepointsatyr and others of us who loved her deeply. Looking back on it, I think I may have been too stunned to say thank you last night. I'll remedy that later on in person, but I'll say it here too. Thank you. Thank you from the deepest insides of my soul.

Wow.

I'd like to thank siegeengine for pointing me toward The Polyamorous Misanthrope. I've been reading on that site for a good chunk of today. Good stuff. Real stuff. Down to earth. Doesn't mince words.

Also interesting how the advice there applies to non-relationship things too. My earlier post about the Rochester Women's Community Chorus? Seems that want is a pretty big one. I spend altogether too much time in my life not singing and not being musical, when being musically inclined was one of my first loves. I've spent too much time as a Stay At Home Mom, forgetting all the bits and bobs that go into making me who I am. I think that singing is one of those things that I am less myself without. I don't think I'd be doing myself or anyone else any favors by not joining. Heck, I'm a wibblebag just thinking about how much I miss singing when I'm not. I want to sing, and I want to know other folks who do too. I want to have fun with it, but I also want to work on regaining some of my range and ability.

Somehow it looks scarier typing it out. A whole organization worth of strangers... I'm never sure if I'm good enough or dedicated enough. But the opportunities: to work as a team, to make music, to have my voice heard, to have the chance to succeed at being musical, maybe even to network with other people who enjoy singing. I think it would be a bad choice to hide from the opportunity. So, then, why do I get so nervous and scared?