felicula | (no subject)

Between the refreshing cold, the sunny sky, and my re-acknowledged need to get back in shape, I decided to head out for a walk in the snowless, chill still-life of the local landscape. I strapped on those longtime friends of mine, my hiking boots. I remembered that even my cold tolerant skin could use an extra jacket, a hat, and a pair of gloves, and proceeded to remind myself of just why I should be doing this much more often.

With the wave of depression that came after my hysterectomy, I fell back into my habits of emotional eating. I admit, after all that work losing weight last year, I am almost back up to where I was. A week or so ago, I weighed in at 260 lbs. Ouch.

Worse than the weight itself, I can feel the negative effects it is having on my heart and lungs. I can't walk as far or as fast without overdoing it. I feel thick, stiff, and heavy, as if I have a lead vest harnessed around my middle. My derrière and my thighs feel equally weighed down. As much as I enjoy walking, and like the park down the street for walking in, it was hard work. Granted, it's the kind of hard work that I really need to do more often.

Tomorrow evening I intend to go to the Rochester Women's Community Chorus to see how that works out for me. If I am going to be singing, I owe it to myself to work on my lung capacity, my abdominal strength, and my breath support. If for no other reason, this should motivate me to bring a little more motion into my life. I have no desire to be a shapeless stick figure, but I do want to be able to breath deeply enough to hold my own in a song without grabbing way too many catch breaths.

I have a bad habit of obsessing over goals. Granted, that got me from my high of 273 down to 212-ish last year. Still, I don't want to end up right back where I am now next year. I want to strike a healthy, sustainable balance. Wish me luck and perseverance?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I wish you all those things and more. :)

I'm hoping to get to the choral group tomorrow night as well, but this is a busyish week - doc appt for me tomorrow, exit interview at work Wednesday, maybe therapy on Thursday... and somewhere in there will be Oliver's work-at-the-office day. Augh! But I'm afraid if I don't get to the group tomorrow night, I won't make it the next week either.

Thank you! ***hugs***

Now

mechanchaos is saying his team lead can only guarantee the schedule shift for January and February. ***ughs*** It throws me back into confusion. It would be unfair to the chorus for me to commit to going if I don't know if I can continue going... I mean, missing because I'm sick or because something unexpected comes up is human, but suddenly dropping out because of schedule foo is wholly unhelpful. I think of joining a chorus like joining a team. I don't know what to do. I want to go, I dearly want to go. I don't want to start going only to end up unable to continue!

UGH! Let me know what you decide? I'm a big chicken and won't likely go by myself. :/

The more I think about it, the more I think I will terribly regret it if I don't try. I'm leaning toward going anyway.