felicula | (no subject)

Between the refreshing cold, the sunny sky, and my re-acknowledged need to get back in shape, I decided to head out for a walk in the snowless, chill still-life of the local landscape. I strapped on those longtime friends of mine, my hiking boots. I remembered that even my cold tolerant skin could use an extra jacket, a hat, and a pair of gloves, and proceeded to remind myself of just why I should be doing this much more often.

With the wave of depression that came after my hysterectomy, I fell back into my habits of emotional eating. I admit, after all that work losing weight last year, I am almost back up to where I was. A week or so ago, I weighed in at 260 lbs. Ouch.

Worse than the weight itself, I can feel the negative effects it is having on my heart and lungs. I can't walk as far or as fast without overdoing it. I feel thick, stiff, and heavy, as if I have a lead vest harnessed around my middle. My derrière and my thighs feel equally weighed down. As much as I enjoy walking, and like the park down the street for walking in, it was hard work. Granted, it's the kind of hard work that I really need to do more often.

Tomorrow evening I intend to go to the Rochester Women's Community Chorus to see how that works out for me. If I am going to be singing, I owe it to myself to work on my lung capacity, my abdominal strength, and my breath support. If for no other reason, this should motivate me to bring a little more motion into my life. I have no desire to be a shapeless stick figure, but I do want to be able to breath deeply enough to hold my own in a song without grabbing way too many catch breaths.

I have a bad habit of obsessing over goals. Granted, that got me from my high of 273 down to 212-ish last year. Still, I don't want to end up right back where I am now next year. I want to strike a healthy, sustainable balance. Wish me luck and perseverance?

Threaded | Flat

*hug* *luck*

Besides, I don't think you could ever be a "shapeless stick figure." Not without further surgery s:)

(Though I do know someone down here who had breast reduction surgery, in November I think. It was basically outpatient and she went home as soon as she was awake, able to move around a bit, and could swallow some crackers and ginger ale without feeling sick. Her mom took care of transportation and stayed with her for about a week afterwards.)

I wish luck, perserverance and a healthy, sustainable balance for both of us. *loves and hugs*

I was told not to set "THE WEIGHT GOAL" because of the stress. I remember you did it based on percentage of weight. I heard on the radio not long ago that a 1 - 2 lb loss a week is the best way to get it gone and keep it that way, even if it takes that much longer to get there. At this point, I don't know what to shoot for in that arena, so I have opted for the goal of swimming at least 2 times a week, aiming for 3 as I get stronger, with the treat of a leisurly soak in the hot tub afterward :) No stress of numbers there :)

*hugs* and *luck*

I deal with this a lot, too... and have swung -75lbs one year and +75lbs the next. I think you're right, though, that the key is to focus on the feelings that cause the eating, rather than the eating or the numbers, themselves. Also, the health feelings are more significant than the numbers, as well.

If we were better emotionally regulated, then things would be easier, I think.
*more hugs*

I wish you all those things and more. :)

I'm hoping to get to the choral group tomorrow night as well, but this is a busyish week - doc appt for me tomorrow, exit interview at work Wednesday, maybe therapy on Thursday... and somewhere in there will be Oliver's work-at-the-office day. Augh! But I'm afraid if I don't get to the group tomorrow night, I won't make it the next week either.