(no subject)

[felicula]

Between the refreshing cold, the sunny sky, and my re-acknowledged need to get back in shape, I decided to head out for a walk in the snowless, chill still-life of the local landscape. I strapped on those longtime friends of mine, my hiking boots. I remembered that even my cold tolerant skin could use an extra jacket, a hat, and a pair of gloves, and proceeded to remind myself of just why I should be doing this much more often.

With the wave of depression that came after my hysterectomy, I fell back into my habits of emotional eating. I admit, after all that work losing weight last year, I am almost back up to where I was. A week or so ago, I weighed in at 260 lbs. Ouch.

Worse than the weight itself, I can feel the negative effects it is having on my heart and lungs. I can't walk as far or as fast without overdoing it. I feel thick, stiff, and heavy, as if I have a lead vest harnessed around my middle. My derrière and my thighs feel equally weighed down. As much as I enjoy walking, and like the park down the street for walking in, it was hard work. Granted, it's the kind of hard work that I really need to do more often.

Tomorrow evening I intend to go to the Rochester Women's Community Chorus to see how that works out for me. If I am going to be singing, I owe it to myself to work on my lung capacity, my abdominal strength, and my breath support. If for no other reason, this should motivate me to bring a little more motion into my life. I have no desire to be a shapeless stick figure, but I do want to be able to breath deeply enough to hold my own in a song without grabbing way too many catch breaths.

I have a bad habit of obsessing over goals. Granted, that got me from my high of 273 down to 212-ish last year. Still, I don't want to end up right back where I am now next year. I want to strike a healthy, sustainable balance. Wish me luck and perseverance?

Comments

[siegeengine.livejournal.com]

*hugs* and *luck*

I deal with this a lot, too... and have swung -75lbs one year and +75lbs the next. I think you're right, though, that the key is to focus on the feelings that cause the eating, rather than the eating or the numbers, themselves. Also, the health feelings are more significant than the numbers, as well.

If we were better emotionally regulated, then things would be easier, I think.
*more hugs*

[blackfelicula.livejournal.com]

I think so too, regarding focusing on the feelings that cause the eating. It's tough! There are so many times when I really need to dredge my subconscious to get to the core of what's up with me at any given time. Despite conscious work toward better communication with myself and with others, I still have times when the problems are under a few layers. I grew up in a family where, "wouldn't you have more fun playing outside?" from my Mom really meant, "I'm sick of you loafing around the house watching TV, please go outside before my nerves fray any more." I have a lot of talking around the issues to unlearn.

***hugs back lots***

[hbbtrbbtbcnbt.livejournal.com]

*imagines having a hidden dial, like an old thermostat, and turning it to make myself less hormonal and stressed*

*giggles* Sorry...random sillyness :)

[blackfelicula.livejournal.com]

I think there are millions, including us, who wish it were that easy!!!

[hbbtrbbtbcnbt.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't wish to necessarily be less emotional, but I would very much wish that the 'over eat' response to the emotions would take a flying leap.

*begins to wonder exactly where on the body the dial would go...*

[blackfelicula.livejournal.com]

Perhaps it would be a slider that runs the length of the spine... Then again, if it was there it'd be all too fun to muck around with its settings. ;)

[hbbtrbbtbcnbt.livejournal.com]

Oh dear, no more back rubs or spine tickles!! That would be tragic!!

[blackfelicula.livejournal.com]

***evil grin***

[mechanchaos.livejournal.com]

it could never be that simple:) do do do.. hey it looks someone is logged into Beth as root.. and they are altering certing functions.. Ports access parameters to hand held device. :)

(At work logs in.. 10 am a little horny.. 11 am really horny 12pm you really want a danish.. 1pm Intense attraction to the nearest person to you duration 10 minutes... )

[hbbtrbbtbcnbt.livejournal.com]

LOL!!!! In some hands, this could be fun! Remote control Domming :)

Sooo....do you crave danish when you're horny???

[blackfelicula.livejournal.com]

OK, that remote control domme idea has got my interests... and some other parts of me... piqued!

[siegeengine.livejournal.com]

that would be great! I'll look at Home Depot next time.
;)