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Between the refreshing cold, the sunny sky, and my re-acknowledged need to get back in shape, I decided to head out for a walk in the snowless, chill still-life of the local landscape. I strapped on those longtime friends of mine, my hiking boots. I remembered that even my cold tolerant skin could use an extra jacket, a hat, and a pair of gloves, and proceeded to remind myself of just why I should be doing this much more often.
With the wave of depression that came after my hysterectomy, I fell back into my habits of emotional eating. I admit, after all that work losing weight last year, I am almost back up to where I was. A week or so ago, I weighed in at 260 lbs. Ouch.
Worse than the weight itself, I can feel the negative effects it is having on my heart and lungs. I can't walk as far or as fast without overdoing it. I feel thick, stiff, and heavy, as if I have a lead vest harnessed around my middle. My derrière and my thighs feel equally weighed down. As much as I enjoy walking, and like the park down the street for walking in, it was hard work. Granted, it's the kind of hard work that I really need to do more often.
Tomorrow evening I intend to go to the Rochester Women's Community Chorus to see how that works out for me. If I am going to be singing, I owe it to myself to work on my lung capacity, my abdominal strength, and my breath support. If for no other reason, this should motivate me to bring a little more motion into my life. I have no desire to be a shapeless stick figure, but I do want to be able to breath deeply enough to hold my own in a song without grabbing way too many catch breaths.
I have a bad habit of obsessing over goals. Granted, that got me from my high of 273 down to 212-ish last year. Still, I don't want to end up right back where I am now next year. I want to strike a healthy, sustainable balance. Wish me luck and perseverance?
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Besides, I don't think you could ever be a "shapeless stick figure." Not without further surgery s:)
(Though I do know someone down here who had breast reduction surgery, in November I think. It was basically outpatient and she went home as soon as she was awake, able to move around a bit, and could swallow some crackers and ginger ale without feeling sick. Her mom took care of transportation and stayed with her for about a week afterwards.)
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You're probably right about that, and breast reduction surgery isn't something I'd consider unless it meant the difference between constant back pain and the lack thereof. My chest is part of my topography which I would prefer remain mountainous. :) I think I was a C or D back into high school when I was between 150 and 180 pounds...
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Even now, it sounds good, but having the build I have, it wouldn't look good. I'm not worried about it...there's lots of time to consider it.
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