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I realize while I was writing my last post that I am worried about my dad and his treatment. I think I'd thought I was more calm about it since he's been taking it so well. Yes, it is something that every guy would get if they lived long enough. He's even got it at a young enough age to have more options available to him. No, his treatment won't be painless, but it is as effective while being less invasive than surgery. I'm still worried about him. I also worry that they might not keep me as updated on it as I'd like to be. I can understand that he might not want to call every time something's a little out of sorts. Thing is, I care about him.
He and I haven't always gotten along with one another, but I've come to a point where I can care about him regardless. Such a far cry from my angsty college-age self that was convinced that I didn't want anything to do with him. I think much of my anger stemmed from his behavior when intoxicated. It makes me so proud to see him sober for as long as he has been, even through coping with the diagnosis of prostate cancer. He and my mom seem concerned, but resigned. I can be glad he has good doctors, all in some way associated with Roswell Park. I can be thankful that this sounds rather routine, and relatively uninvasive. Still, it is something I haven't faced before.
It was one thing to see him shattered and broken by drink, something emotionally rending, angering, yet pitiful. It is such a contrast to see him stable and resolute in the face of cancer, albeit a cancer that is relatively easy to treat. Sometimes it's hard for me to reconcile the various sides of him that I've experienced. I know that I have my extremes of personality too, even without a chemically altered mental state. I guess I was used to him as a rather monochromatic individual in my life. While I was growing up, he seemed even and stoic, ranging to completely lethargic with the influence of alcohol. He's retained much of the stoicism, but has been a lot more human.
I realize I'm rambling. I guess this is just on my mind.
