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Why is it that the one day when I need to ask for help, no one is available? My aunt and uncle have a holiday gathering to attend in Scottsville. My parents both have appointments tomorrow afternoon. I'm going nuts trying to figure out a way I can make this work. Every scenario I look at seems to be non-viable. And the more I worry, the less likely it is that I'll have steady hands to load that fucking film tank.
If this was back in my earlier college years, I would have given up already. Where the fuck did I pick up this dogged determination? Somewhere along the line I realized that I'm capable of a whole hell of a lot more than I had previously given myself credit for.
If it weren't for that certainty about my capabilities, I would have given up earlier on my film loading and asked the prof to do it for me. That just sounds like such a cop out to me now. Every other time I've been able to load the damn thing properly. The only differences now are more exposures worth of film, and much, much less leeway on time. I would be willing to bet that the only reason I am fucking up now is that I hear that mental clock tick-tick-ticking.
It's down to the wire. The project is due Friday. There might be a way to get in for both Friday labs if
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mechanchaos can swapple things around somewhat. It's just... I wish it was over with already. I wish I had done all my projects in a more timely fashion. I wish I could redo this morning and get it loaded right. I don't know. Could've, should've, would've... I need to discipline myself not to get so shaken over these kinds of things.
I need to work on managing my time better.
Wouldn't it be handy if life had a rewind button?
