(no subject)

[felicula]

It's not the call anyone wants to get. My dad is an alcoholic. He says he's recovering, and for short periods of time he does. Then there are the relapses. For a long time he's been getting shaky in both hands and arms. For a few months now he's been having spells where he'll get dizzy and/or pass out. Once resulted in a fall down the stairs that tore part of his ear partway off. He absolutely refused to go to the doctor for it. Another time was in church and he need to be escorted to fresh air by the ushers. The past couple weeks he's been getting, and staying, very pale. Unearthly when-did-the-vampire-sire-him pale. Last night the dizzies got bad enough that my dad consented to go to the after-hours clinic after my mom threatened him with the option of calling 911.

At the clinic, the nurse was taking his blood pressure, once sitting down, once standing up. After standing up for the required time, he was so shaky and woozy that he sank into the nearest chair and proceeded to vomit into the garbage can my mom got under him in time. Seeing that, the doc at the clinic called an ambulence with instructions to get my dad into Buffalo General. My dad did not want to go into the ambulence. He didn't have much choice in the matter, though.

So far they've found that he's very anemic. Whereas blood level has a normal reference number of 10, my dad's was a 6.5. They gave him 2 pints in transfusion so far and might give him 2 more tomorrow. Tomorrow will bring him a battery of tests to find out just where his blood is going to. Unlike me, he doesn't have a uterus to perpetually leak blood. The doc suspects some kind of ulcer. One of the tests will be the upper G.I. equivalent of a colonoscopy. Another will be a sonogram.

When I asked her whether this was related to the alcohol, my mom danced around the question. She did quote what the doctor confided in her when my dad was asleep, "He's got to stop drinking, he's poisoning his whole body." So regardless of what the medical condition is that he has in this particular case, it certainly isn't helped by alcohol.

My mom was mentioning that she was in something of a predicament with not being able to start the lawnmower. I asked her if she wanted me to come down to help out and to visit dad in the hospital. She quickly, firmly, and repeatedly said no. "This isn't the right time for that. I think with all the tests he's going to be too tired for visitors. I don't think this is the right time. Save it for Aidan's birthday party." Not her exact words, and not in the exact order, but close enough to what was refrained. She has a point, but it still felt like she was hiding something. Or worse, that she thought my presence would make things worse.

I'm scared that this might do him in. Moreso, I'm frightened that it won't do him in and yet he won't stop destroying his body with every time he gets drunk. It harrowed me to hear how emotionless my mom sounded, like she was discussing party plans or the neighbor's dog. It's as if she's internalizing things. It took a lot to even get her to admit that it was scary. Hell, it's terrifying for me and I was only hearing it!

I have a lot of emotions going on. A lot of them have to do with my mom's reaction to it. In a week I'll be seeing them. I don't quite know what I'll say.

Comments

[kareila]

Your mom may be doing what I've done in similar situations, just shutting down the emotions until she has the time and the space to deal with them, and focusing on the immediate issues as calmly as possible.

I hope everything will be OK. *hugs*

[blackfelicula.livejournal.com]

I've thought about that too. I just wish I could be there for her. Gratefully, she called back. I got a chance to address my concerns and be reassured. My imagination still likes to fill in the blanks in this kind of situation, but talking to her again helped a lot.

I hope things work out too. Thanks for the hugs! ***hugs back***

[whitesnowrosere.livejournal.com]

You and your family are in my prayers, I'll light a gold candle for your Dad. We love you, remember that. If you ever need us, you know our number we can be down there in an hour or so.

-Rose Red

[blackfelicula.livejournal.com]

Thank you deeply for your love and support. It means a lot to us. ***hugs you tightly*** We'll be in the Buffalo area the weekend of the 12-14, and if my mom doesn't mind watching Aidan for the time on the 20th we should be down then too.

They found a number of ulcers in my dad, he's still in the hospital for now for observation until his blood levels out.

If you feel up to it, we're having a birthday party for Aidan on the 6th here in Rochester starting noonish.

[phoenixsong]

*hugtight from both of us*

We'll be there in a week and can do it properly in person then.

[blackfelicula.livejournal.com]

***hugs tightly back to both of you, looks at the gifties she'll be wrapping ;)***