(no subject)

[felicula]

Oh. Hey. Look.

I've been hermit-ing again.

Eh. It happens. It seems I'm currently making a habit of distilling what I think into its barest essences. The distillation process is lengthy.

In the meantime, here's some nice, (I'm warning you, you don't want to click here unless you're really, really interested in the inner workings of my private, perverted, sexual brain...), juicy masturbation TMI.

So, I had gotten to a point where the same old vibe-and-fingers wasn't doing it for me. I could do myself in the usual way for hours and not get any further than, "Eh, this feels kinda nice." Cue my imagination. Of all the scenarios that I went through, one worked above and beyond the others.

Yes, you know I'm going to tell you. Yes, I will, whether you like it or not. Yes, I realize I'm just stalling here. (Feel free to duck out of the cut and read no further. Genderfuckery ahead.)

Well then...

I imagine that instead of my little gnome of a clitoris, I have a jotun of a penis. I delight in exploring all the things I might do with said penis and any number of women or men I might do it with.

And if I imagine doing my husband with said penis while he is doing me, it forms a delicious little non-oral variant on 69 that does not fail to titillate me.

Despite my virile imagination, I like being female. I like my breasts, my voice, my hair, and my waist (even though it's well-padded). However, if I could choose my gender for the day painlessly and at my whim, I would.

You'd think I would have figured out long ago that I am a slightly-more-gay-than-straight man who happens to reside in a woman's body. Eh. At least I know it now. :)

I told you there was genderfuckery in here. I guess I ought to save up for a good strap on: one of the ones that has a bit that nestles in around my clitoris. That way, I'll be able to wield a penis as best I can. Have any suggestions? With links? Maybe videos too? Heh, heh...

I am serious. If you are squeamish about fat girls getting themselves off or about genderfuckery then this cut is not for you.

Comments

[tearsinger.livejournal.com]

We like the feeldoe (http://www.goodvibes.com/Item--i-13BA08), although I use it with a harness or boy undies on because it provides a little more support.

However I have never failed to be pleased with my cheapo harness (http://www.goodvibes.com/Item--i-1-5-BM-0303--m-17) and monster cock named Johnny. (http://www.goodvibes.com/Item--i-13BA10--m-81)

Also the prices on this site are more than I paided in my local store.

[marared.livejournal.com]

I have come to understand through the numerous people I've met in my life, especially in the last ten years --

you're perfectly normal. :) Enjoy what you are.

(that being said, I'm pretty vanilla in preferences AND gender, so I can't really make any suggestions...)

[blackfelicula.livejournal.com]

Thanks lots for the input. Ever since I first saw the picture of it when I perused Good Vibrations a few years back, I have been curious about whether the feeldoe was a worthwhile investment, but I found the GV prices intimidating. Do you mind if I ask how much less they were for you when you purchased yours?

Hmmm... I may have to shop around and see what I can find where and for how much.

[blackfelicula.livejournal.com]

I definitely am enjoying what I am. ;)

Though, I find it interesting how my fantasies shift and wander as time passes, and thankful I'm married to someone open enough to not only take it in stride, but to be open to exploration both mental and physical. Whee!

Is it ironic that despite my generous helpings of kink, my favorite ice cream remains vanilla?

[tearsinger.livejournal.com]

We paid $30 for the harness, $80/90for the feeldoe and maybe $65 for Johnny -- we picked him because he is huge and had balls to help stabilize the whole thing when trying to fuck.

[blackfelicula.livejournal.com]

The savings is definitely not something to sneeze at, then.

At the risk of being an absolute smartass, Thor (NSFW) (http://www.zoofur.com/thor.html) looks more along the lines of "huge" than Johnny. Though Johnny looks much more up my alley. (Though not literally at this point.)

Are balls better than a flat base for stabilizing a harnessed dildo for a fuck?

[tearsinger.livejournal.com]

Holy cock!

[blackfelicula.livejournal.com]

I doubt there are many dildos out there that trump that Thor...

I must admit that I find that particular site's offerings interesting because of all the unusual and interesting shapes...

[bluetourmaline.livejournal.com]

I have seen Thor, and my spam that promises me to increase my penis 1-4 inches just got a lot funnier. Fable of the frog who wanted to be as big as an ox, people!

[blackfelicula.livejournal.com]

And now I have King Missile's song "Detachable Penis" in my head with new lyrics: "Explodable Penis."

wow thats a lot tamer then i figured

[evilkinggumby.livejournal.com]

jees and yer worried this might seem out of the ordinary or freak people out? jesus there's a ton of hentai like that and several cartoons where they cast "spells" or use weird mind abilities so the women grow their clitoris to penis size(e.g. large penis size) and use it on men..women.. walls..whatever...

hehe i give you a respectful nod for throwing this out to your friends and the masses tho. :) but until i see self portrait charcoal art of you living out this fantasy.. i won't be shocked. :) hehehe

Re: wow thats a lot tamer then i figured

[blackfelicula.livejournal.com]

I didn't think it would freak out anyone I know well. You may have noticed, though that this is posted public. I figured I ought to at least make a feeble attempt to scare away anyone who may not ever want to find out such details of my fantasy life.

I realize that this is tater tots in the great sexual banquet that is the intarwebs...

It is also but a single morsel of my own sexual identity. Still, people who see my facebook profile (some of whom I knew in grade school) and my OKCupid profile (most of whom I have never talked to, let alone met) have links by which they can find this... In that large a potential sample size, I figure at least a handful would be forever scarred if they uncovered this little nugget unwarned.

Sorry to say it, but you won't be seeing any self portrait of me fucking my husband up the ass with a newly-grown monster dick while several women bound in leather look on until I feel either considerably more physically presentable, or get to the point where I don't rightly care about my extra padding...

Re: wow thats a lot tamer then i figured

[mechanchaos.livejournal.com]

do I get to at least be portrayed as a woman.. Art is supposed to express what you are feeling at the time ... is it not?

Re: wow thats a lot tamer then i figured

[blackfelicula.livejournal.com]

Hmmm... If I'm doing the drawing, then it would have to depend on how I was feeling at the time, wouldn't it? What if I wanted you to be yourself, or a hermaphrodite?