(no subject)

[felicula]

I took some important second steps. The first step had been getting a slew of prospective-student information for MCC. This time, I actually got off my butt and called though. I got the address for where to have transcripts sent. Thanks to ecwoodburn and mechanchaos, I got copies of the SUNY Oswego transcript request form. Those are now on their way to Oswego, asking for an official one to go to MCC, and an unofficial one to come to me. While I was on the phone with the admissions rep at MCC, I made an appointment to talk to an admissions counsellor, Monday the 29th at 9:00am. Hopefully, I'll have the unofficial transcript by then, so I can talk about whether it would be help or hindrance to transfer credits from Oswego.

***slowly lets out her breath*** I made the appointment though. I kept finding excuses not to. I wanted to wait to hear more about Aidan's kindergarten. I wanted to wait until I had transcript in hand (without looking into transcript info). I don't know why I kept stalling. Anyhow, my foot is down. The appointment is made. Walk in hours are no good for someone like me. It takes an actual appointment to hold myself accountable and make sure I don't chicken out or fall into these odd patterns of procrastination.

I don't fully understand why I'm so scared of trying to go back to school. I want to go. Part of me is so used to the way things are. I'm afraid of falling into patterns of slacking. I'm afraid of taking too much to quickly. I'm afraid of not having enough money to cover it. I'm afraid of choosing the wrong academic path. I'm afraid that I will use caring for Aidan as an excuse not to give my all in homework. I'm afraid that I'll come out of it still feeling like I'm unprepared for a career. But, damnitol, I want to break out of the pattern and finish what I start!