(no subject)

[felicula]

I took some important second steps. The first step had been getting a slew of prospective-student information for MCC. This time, I actually got off my butt and called though. I got the address for where to have transcripts sent. Thanks to ecwoodburn and mechanchaos, I got copies of the SUNY Oswego transcript request form. Those are now on their way to Oswego, asking for an official one to go to MCC, and an unofficial one to come to me. While I was on the phone with the admissions rep at MCC, I made an appointment to talk to an admissions counsellor, Monday the 29th at 9:00am. Hopefully, I'll have the unofficial transcript by then, so I can talk about whether it would be help or hindrance to transfer credits from Oswego.

***slowly lets out her breath*** I made the appointment though. I kept finding excuses not to. I wanted to wait to hear more about Aidan's kindergarten. I wanted to wait until I had transcript in hand (without looking into transcript info). I don't know why I kept stalling. Anyhow, my foot is down. The appointment is made. Walk in hours are no good for someone like me. It takes an actual appointment to hold myself accountable and make sure I don't chicken out or fall into these odd patterns of procrastination.

I don't fully understand why I'm so scared of trying to go back to school. I want to go. Part of me is so used to the way things are. I'm afraid of falling into patterns of slacking. I'm afraid of taking too much to quickly. I'm afraid of not having enough money to cover it. I'm afraid of choosing the wrong academic path. I'm afraid that I will use caring for Aidan as an excuse not to give my all in homework. I'm afraid that I'll come out of it still feeling like I'm unprepared for a career. But, damnitol, I want to break out of the pattern and finish what I start!

Comments

[phoenixsong]

*hugtight* Good for you s:)

Similar situation here -- I know what I want, and what I have to do to get it, but my past lack-of-luck in job hunting when I'm already employed keeps hanging over my head. I never seem to find a job until I've been out of work for a while and absolutely desperate financially -- and the job has always found me, not the other way around. I'm constantly fighting the temptation to just let whatever happen.

[blackfelicula.livejournal.com]

***hugs lots***

Job hunting is even trickier than college hunting. Trying to find a position that meets your needs while providing the employer with someone who meets theirs is a delicate balance. With the job market still sinking despite political cries of economic recovery, that balance is even more difficult to achieve. ***wishes you luck in that, and lots and lots of applications filled and filed***

There was a point where I'd toyed with the idea of finishing my degree at Oswego. I'd even made some of the first steps to try to go back, but it never worked out.

When we moved here I'd gone through a flurry of admissions info for a variety of schools, but never found the confidence to take the first few steps to get the ball rolling. Back in Buffalo, I'd done the same thing with regards to Buffalo colleges. I'd even picked up admissions info at Buff State in person. Still, I never took that first step of actually applying.

It's easy to order information from schools online and sit and pour through the course catalogs building a fantasy schedule. I can do that and still think that I'm working toward going back to school.

I'm doing it the other way around this time. I haven't gone through the requirements and tailor made a program designed to earn me a degree while hitting as many of the classes I want to take as I want. I want to talk to people there first. I'm used to being self-reliant in building a semester's courseload, but what I wanted wasn't always what I needed and was often more than I could take on at once.

Yes, I could do it myself, but I think I'd like to give full ear to professional opinion before running away with myself.