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My dad does food shuttle on Wednesdays. Today he'd been back in the house but a minute when I heard a knock at the door. At first I thought it must be one of my folks, but when I (in my PJs) went to answer the door, there was a police officer asking for the person who had just been driving the Subaru in the driveway. I went and got my dad.
Apparently as my dad was trying to hide his drinking from us, he'd bought a can of beer and headed to a Harlem Road Community Center to drink it. He was seen discarding his can and getting in the car before driving the two blocks to get back to the house.
I admit, the fact that the cop let my dad go with no more than a stern talking to dismayed me somewhat. Still, my dad gathered us all into the family room to admit this to us, saying that the experience was humiliating.
He seemed like he was searching for some kind of absolution from us. I can't find it in me to tell him that kind of behavior is OK. I've long since learned that speaking my mind on the matter often creates emotional violence in the house that none of us need, least of all my mom who gets caught in the middle of it.
Earlier in the morning my mom had been craning out the window at the two cop cars parked down the street. It is funny how speculations about their house must now be rippling through those they know in a similar fashion.
I know that I've exhausted my possibilities at Our Lady of Victory, yet the experience was somewhat anti-climactic. I got to speak with the head of their Adoption department. She seemed to think that I'd already received as much information from them as they would be authorized to give me. She took my information anyway with the promise that her assistant would look through the microfilm records to double-check.
I found out that the present offices were once where the orphanage was. The Infant Home was actually one building over. I was told that it is now totally offices in the area where the mothers once stayed, and are thus off-limits. Still, I got to go in the first floor, where I recognized some of the old offices from an early visit. There was a time when I was something like 2-3 years old when my folks took me there when they went to visit the Sister who was then in charge of my case.
I felt some small deja-vu to that extent, but nothing further back. The woman I spoke with did give me a link to the local "Adoption Resource Network Inc." who may be able to give me information on how to begin a search given what I have. Part of me feels relieved that I know I've done all I can regarding the Our Lady of Victory Infant Home. On the other hand, there is still no real closure.
Apparently as my dad was trying to hide his drinking from us, he'd bought a can of beer and headed to a Harlem Road Community Center to drink it. He was seen discarding his can and getting in the car before driving the two blocks to get back to the house.
I admit, the fact that the cop let my dad go with no more than a stern talking to dismayed me somewhat. Still, my dad gathered us all into the family room to admit this to us, saying that the experience was humiliating.
He seemed like he was searching for some kind of absolution from us. I can't find it in me to tell him that kind of behavior is OK. I've long since learned that speaking my mind on the matter often creates emotional violence in the house that none of us need, least of all my mom who gets caught in the middle of it.
Earlier in the morning my mom had been craning out the window at the two cop cars parked down the street. It is funny how speculations about their house must now be rippling through those they know in a similar fashion.
I know that I've exhausted my possibilities at Our Lady of Victory, yet the experience was somewhat anti-climactic. I got to speak with the head of their Adoption department. She seemed to think that I'd already received as much information from them as they would be authorized to give me. She took my information anyway with the promise that her assistant would look through the microfilm records to double-check.
I found out that the present offices were once where the orphanage was. The Infant Home was actually one building over. I was told that it is now totally offices in the area where the mothers once stayed, and are thus off-limits. Still, I got to go in the first floor, where I recognized some of the old offices from an early visit. There was a time when I was something like 2-3 years old when my folks took me there when they went to visit the Sister who was then in charge of my case.
I felt some small deja-vu to that extent, but nothing further back. The woman I spoke with did give me a link to the local "Adoption Resource Network Inc." who may be able to give me information on how to begin a search given what I have. Part of me feels relieved that I know I've done all I can regarding the Our Lady of Victory Infant Home. On the other hand, there is still no real closure.
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From:
no subject
I don't know what to say at all, and I really wish I could make everything ok. So, I'm just going to give you more hugs. We love you, Hon.
From:
*hughug*
From:
no subject
As for the OLV stuff, at least I know that I've done all that can be done in that direction. I think the only real closure I might eventually find is if I someday my search is successful. Given that that might not happen, I kinda just have to accept what I've got for now.
***big hugs***
Thank you again.