(no subject)

[felicula]

We picked up Epiphany from the vet Tuesday morning at 10am. She wasn't very happy, though she wasn't eager to get in the carrier either. The veterinary technician recommended that we keep her separated from the other cats for a time, so when we got home, I cleaned the litter boxes so that one could go in our bedroom while the other would remain in the bathroom for the other four.

It's been tricky keeping them separated, but I agree wholeheartedly. Even on the best days she and the others tended to squabble. Tiffs after abdominal surgery? No. She stayed in the carrier until I finished getting the room ready, so everycatten got to sniff everycatten before the separation.

She got morning meds for the past few days. She was pretty good at taking them. That, or I succeeded at learning how to administer them gently and swiftly. Just a small amount of liquid to be squirted into her mouth. No biggie.

She's been so much more talkative than she used to be aside from her heat cycles. Every time I go in the room, she trills or outright mews at me. Some of it is the discomfort of having a mending hole in her belly. Some of it, I think, is loneliness of being in the one room. I try to counteract that by reading in there when Aidan's playing pop cap games.

Thank you, kolys for the reading material, BTW. To understate it a bit, I find the book rather engaging.

Yesterday, I was worried because it looked like one end of the incision was pulling apart a little, with an end of the suture exposed. When mechanchaos returned from work, I had him take a look at it. He mentioned that previous injuries of his own had looked worse than that and hadn't been a problem. Looking at it today, I agree. It doesn't seem to be preventing the wound from healing, and it doesn't seem to be getting worse. I'm keeping a rather close eye on that though, just in case that situation changes.

The good news is that she's still doing balancing acts on our headboard. She jumps up to the top of the scratching post, which has been put in the bedroom near the window and on top of a sturdy box. She snoozles on the bed, and even pushes her way under the covers. There hasn't been a time that she's curled up near me that she hasn't purred for a while. She's not feeling her best, but she's still herself about it.

I pray to the All, the Whole, the Pattern and That Which Is, please, Please, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE do not send any more financial overloads this way. Yeah it was only $80-some on the dresser, and my parents pitched in $20 towards that. Yeah, the group vet trip was due anyway, even if it was a hefty $200ish with 4 cats in the house. Yeah, we'd procrastinated on the car, but did it have to be $820?!? And I'd forgotten about needing $400 for mechanchaos's oral surgery until last night.

I don't want to have to file for bankruptcy. Things are scary enough as it is. I know we're fortunate to have been able to try to balance things between checking account and credit card. The scary part is that life doesn't just stop here and wait for us to pay this shit off. I really REALLY hope that nothing else big comes up for a good long time.

This is a bad time. It's got me on edge enough that I keep calling the parent resource center asking where Aidan stands on the waiting list to have them tell me that downtown hasn't given them the information yet. What the fuck? Do I have to wait until after school starts to find out whether my son has a breath of a chance towards getting into one of the high-performance area schools. I can't just sit on my heels and wait to find out that he's stuck at the one you put him in.

I'm already rather nervous about going back to school myself. I'm scared I won't have the self-dicipline to handle being back in school, even at the community college I'm registered at. Which, BTW, wasn't funny about the whole "no one has my records of immunity" thing. I've gotten a lot better about blood draws since giving birth to Aidan, but nearly passing out after didn't help my anxiety about that.

Now they're saying Aidan's physical isn't in order when I had to give the city his physical information to register. Who's bungling all that between the Parent Resource Center and Downtown? I'm seeing loopholes for everyone but the parents and the kids. Everyone has someone else in the bureaucracy to point a finger at.

I hope you don't have anything else hidden up your sleeve. I'm booked. Really, I am. I still need to schedule a road test and get those blood test results and bother Lifetime Health about a physical form (at the very least) for Aidan.

Fuck. If I'm getting so overwhelmed by this, how can I dream of being able to handle a "grownup" job?

I know I'm not really fully rational about this. I know that there are many, many people who balance much more on their shoulders. I know there are just as many people with financial hell going on. We aren't losing out yet. The rapids are getting wilder, but I still get a gasp of air once in a while.