(no subject)

[felicula]

My parents had Aidan over from Saturday until Wednesday. When they came to pick him up, we were all concerned. My dad was yellow. He matched his yellow plaid shirt. His eyeballs were yellow. Everything. He acted like he couldn't see it, even though Aidan was creeped out by it. My mom, mechanchaos, and I all told him he was. All he could reply was that he'd had a dentist appointment earlier and the dentist hadn't said anything.

Well, that dentist was a friend of his from AA. While they were picking up Aidan here, he was leaving messages trying to get in touch with my dad and tell him he wasn't looking so hot.

So, my dad got to move his doctor's appointment from this coming Tuesday to this morning. Now he's checked into Buffalo General Hospital for testing. They don't know anything for sure, yet, but his abdomen was swollen and hard, he was still all yellow, and his ankles, arms, and feet were swollen too. They suspect his liver, and with all the drinking I would not be shocked at all. My mom thought it might be cirrhosis. (And after reading that, I think so too.)

mechanchaos turned to me in the car today and asked, "What if this is fatal?" For years now I have wondered if my dad would drink himself to death. Some people argue that people with cirrhosis due to alcohol abuse shouldn't get liver transplants. Who knows what the end result of this is going to be. I'd like to be as mentally prepared as I can be, though. For better or for worse, he's my dad. He's the only dad I've ever known. If this does end up fatal, I will miss him. So will Aidan.

Comments

:(

[mechanchaos.livejournal.com]

Seeing this in print makes me think I was a monster to say so. I just have NEVER seen anyone like that before.

Re: :(

[blackfelicula.livejournal.com]

You weren't a monster to say so. I was thinking it too. I hadn't realized how much this was getting to me until my mom called after getting home from the hospital. I've been teary tonight wondering what it is and whether this time will be the thing that fells him...

For better or for worse, he's my dad.

Re: :(

[dawnstar.livejournal.com]

Commenting here instead of at the other comment because this is so easily relatable for me. I've been in tears a lot of the night too, having similar thoughts. *hugs you and loves you*

Thank you for your thoughts. I haven't posted because there's just... I don't know. I guess I just don't really want to, at this point. But I wanted you to know what's going on. Though I'm sorry for burdening you with it, when you've your own family trouble.

*hugs you more* At least we have each other to lean on.

Re: :(

[blackfelicula.livejournal.com]

It's OK not to want to post yet. I am not finding it a burden to know that we're both worried about family. It feels supportive. We're both hurting about it. That's OK even though the situations are not. ***hugs lots and lots and lots***

***sings***
Lean on me when you're not strong.
I'll be your friend. I'll help you carry on.
For it won't be long 'till I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on.

Re: :(

[dawnstar.livejournal.com]

*hugs you so tightly* It means a lot to have you to lean on. I'm glad I can be there for you as well. Perhaps we'll see you tonight or over the weekend. Right now I'm waffling about tonight because I'm just so tired. Going anywhere seems like a huge thing. But maybe later I'll feel differently.

I love you.

Re: :(

[blackfelicula.livejournal.com]

I'm certain we'll be in touch about things. Do what you need to. ***hugs and loves back***