(no subject)

[felicula]

I am having difficulty expressing this in a way that neither makes the situation sound worse or better than it is.

This week shook my relationship to the core.

I am in a strange, painful limbo. We are talking almost constantly: logically, rationally. We have agreed to work on things. We have also agreed that it would not make sense to rule out the possibility that we might not be good for one another. I do not know which direction it is going to go.

Ten years is a long time.

Comments

[solledrache.livejournal.com]

I've said this to a lot of my friends going through relationship or life issues. I hope whatever happens happens for the best.

[blackfelicula.livejournal.com]

I hope so too. I wish I knew what would be best, but I don't know that yet.

[marared.livejournal.com]

What she said. I hope you guys can work things out!

Perhaps a trial separation, to see if you can stand being without each other?

[blackfelicula.livejournal.com]

I don't think we're to the point of saying we need a trial separation. We are at the point where we see some of the major fault lines running the length of the relationship. Therapy seems the next step. We'll see where that takes us and reevaluate as personal growth happens.

***hug***

Oy...

[evilkinggumby.livejournal.com]

I don't know what shook it that bad or how things have changed but... WOw.. I am so sorry! I mean yes 10 years 1 child 50 cats a couple plants, dozens of nights, billions of stars counted, oodles of hugs and kisses and (stuff..*wink*... and it now you're not good for eachother? Have you two changed as people or did one of you suddenly decide to become a mormon?

*cringe*

Good luck. I am seeing a lot of things like this happening. Maybe it's just our gen going through it's motions. Maybe the cosmos is off.. Maybe it's George Bush's last foray into meddling with people before he goes ot hide in his ancestral cave for 100 years to regenerate...

I'm not trying to make light of your situation.. just trying to eek a smile out of you. :)

Re: Oy...

[blackfelicula.livejournal.com]

Sorry. The smiles aren't that quick to surface today.

I'm not giving up on things. Really I'm not. I'm just... Eh. Words aren't working right.

A lot went on in the last few days, so much so that I've lost most of the detail. But there's a chance that being who I am may be hurting him, and him being himself may be hurting me. Whether or not that's something we can work with remains to be seen.

It's probably obvious from my post, but I'm feeling pretty down-in-the-dumps. Things may be coming across more pessimistic than they really are. I don't know for sure. In any case, it's not a comfy spot in which to be.

Nope, no Mormons here.

[hbbtrbbtbcnbt.livejournal.com]

*loves and hugs to you both, and hopes and prayers for good and for peace* I do know what it's like, to have your marriage in a tenuous place, with decisions needing to be made, and the risks, and the fears. I love you both, very much, and will be here if needed. *hugs*

[blackfelicula.livejournal.com]

***hugs lots, hugs more, just... hugs***

[dawnstar.livejournal.com]

I love you both, and will do everything I can to be here for both of you in whatever capacity I can and am needed. I don't know if my therapist does marital counseling in general (he saw O & I once together but that was for a specific situation, so I'm not sure in general), but I can find out and pass his number along if you like.

[blackfelicula.livejournal.com]

I think mechanchaos is interested in your therapist's info. We may end up looking into marital counseling, but I think it might be better to see someone separately for that if we're going to do both.

***hugs lots***

[dawnstar.livejournal.com]

*nods* Most therapists wouldn't be willing to see you both separately anyway. I wish you luck in sorting things out, and hope that in the end you both end up happy.

*more hugs and love*

[blackfelicula.livejournal.com]

I'm not certain what I meant came out right. My thought was that if we were going to see a marital counselor, it would be a different therapist than either of us were seeing singly. I'm still not sure that's coming out right. Ack.

***hugs and loves too***

[cheshire23.livejournal.com]

If you are interested in seeing someone together, our old therapist in Rochester was a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and I found out she's either back or never left. Her name's Tziporah Rosenberg and I'm not sure where her office is now but she's working through U of R Medical Center.

*hugs*

[blackfelicula.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

***hugs***

[endlessbard.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through a rough spot ... I feel as though we aren't close enough for me to offer any real comfort, but I do hope that everything works out, and that you are able to find the strength to do what is best for all of you, whatever that might be.

Good luck *hugs*

[blackfelicula.livejournal.com]

Thank you. ***hugs***

[phoenixsong]

*hugtight*

[blackfelicula.livejournal.com]

***hugs lots and tightly***

[bluetourmaline.livejournal.com]

Hugs and support, however it works out.

[blackfelicula.livejournal.com]

***hugs*** Thank you.

[aquinasprime.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[blackfelicula.livejournal.com]

***hugs back***

[haleth.livejournal.com]

*hugs tight* I hope everything works out for the best.

[blackfelicula.livejournal.com]

***hugs tightly back*** I hope so too. Thank you.

[delleni.livejournal.com]

Y'know, sometimes it gets darkest before dawn. I hope that you can find some light in this somewhere, and if you ever need a hand out of your darkness, I'll be here for you. Always. Let me know if you need anything at all, even an escape route. :)

Love you muchly, lady.

*hugs*

[blackfelicula.livejournal.com]

***hugs lots and tightly***

Talking is a good thing, as is wandering in the woods on his parents' land. (Even though the dysfunction was running thick back at their house.) Luckily, I don't think he's the sort of guy from whom I would need an escape route, at least not of the emergency variety. So far, we're taking things a day at a time.

[flnerd.livejournal.com]

hey you - hope everything works out for the best, hope you're ok also. if you need anything, michele and i are just around the corner :)

[blackfelicula.livejournal.com]

Thanks. On the up side, much talking has been going on. It's a work-in-progress.