(no subject)

[felicula]

http://almostfamous801.livejournal.com/176640.html

This... is why I am shaking and crying right now.

I loved her. As a friend. As more than a friend.



I was a fucking bad friend.

Comments

[marared.livejournal.com]

I can't see the entry. :( What happened?

[blackfelicula.livejournal.com]

It says that last night Sarah (Rose) Large died in her sleep.

At one point, she was my girlfriend. We'd stayed friends, albeit in different cities and both with busy lives.

I didn't make enough times to go visit.

[phoenixsong]

*hugtight* I'm so, so sorry.

[blackfelicula.livejournal.com]

***clingtightsob***

Gods...

I'm... not in a good place right now.

[phoenixsong]

*holds and rocks with you*

I wish I was there for real. s:(

[marared.livejournal.com]

*gentle squeeze*

You aren't a bad friend for not having gone to visit more often. You stayed friends, you stayed in touch, you thought of her with love and respect, and that's a *good* friend. It still hurts that she was gone so suddenly, but don't beat yourself up for it. There isn't enough time in all the world for the shoulda-dones. You loved her, and that's what mattered.

[almostfamous801.livejournal.com]

You're in no way a bad friend. My best friend and I have seen each other three times in the last two years. Life happens. You still care about her? You still think about her? Then, you weren't a bad friend...

Yeah, I friend lock my entries. So, unfortunately people will not be able to see that.

*hugs* Like I said. Call if you need to.

[blackfelicula.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Thanks lots for your number, your information, your help, your support, despite not knowing one another very well.

You care about people I care a lot about. *hugs more*

mechanchaos can't get off work tomorrow but he plans to work late tonight so he can get out early. We'll be in town when we can.

I guess I'm just having a lot of regrets that we didn't get in town more often. I feel like I cared but didn't show it nearly enough.

[bluetourmaline.livejournal.com]

*sympathy and hug*

[blackfelicula.livejournal.com]

Thank you very much.

[hai-kah-uhk.livejournal.com]

*hugs and condolences*

Hang in there. Sounds to me like you were a great friend. I'm sure she remembered the good times with you.

[blackfelicula.livejournal.com]

I hope so. *hugs*

[octoberland.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry. I think you know that I know what you are going through. It's easy to say after the fact that you could have done more. All of us always could have done more. Try to focus on the positive things, the positive memories and the ways you can honor her from this moment forward because that's all we have.

Hugs and blessings.

[blackfelicula.livejournal.com]

You very much know what I'm going through. Thank you. I will try to keep your advice in mind. You probably also know that that isn't going to be easy.

*hugs back*

[hbbtrbbtbcnbt.livejournal.com]

*loves and snuggles and comforts* I am so so sorry :( Hindsight likes to tell us of all we might have done/could have done/should have done. I suspect she knew that you cared. I know you cared about her, loved her. *more hugs, lots of hugs*

*moochies on forehead from Matt*

[blackfelicula.livejournal.com]

***hugs lots and lots and tightly*** I hope she did.

[haleth.livejournal.com]

*hugs tight* I'm so sorry. :-(

[blackfelicula.livejournal.com]

***hugs back*** Thank you.

[flnerd.livejournal.com]

aww, I'm so sorry to hear about this :( I look forward to next Tuesday so that I can give you a big hug. I'm sending all my love and best wishes to you. If you need anything just let me know.

*hugs*

[blackfelicula.livejournal.com]

*hugs back*

A year and a half ago, it was my Dad. I thought that was bad... but I never stopped loving her. It was one of those friendships that weathered the breakup.

I'm gonna need those hugs on Tuesday.

Thank you.

[mooncove.livejournal.com]

So sorry to hear about your loss. And you're not a bad friend. I lost a beloved friend/almost-boyfriend almost exactly a year ago, and I still regret all the things I didn't do or say. I think everybody does when they lose someone. There's always something more we could have done, especially when someone passes so young and unexpectedly. Maybe it's too soon for you to think about this, but my late friend has communicated with me through a medium since that time and it's been a great comfort. I often feel his presence (especially in the two months or so after his death). So I believe it's not too late to tell your friend how you feel and that she can hear you and understands.

*hugs*

[blackfelicula.livejournal.com]

*hugs back*

What you said about how there's always something more we could have done: I needed to hear that.

I have already felt her presence today. Still, the shock of it is still reverberating through my system.

Thank you.