(no subject)

[felicula]

I am liking my busy Tuesdays.

Even though I am getting used to going to RWCC rehearsals, I still feel socially awkward. A lot of members know one another already. Sometimes I talk to people, sometimes I just stand around being glad to be out of the house. The singing is fun and worthwhile. When I do talk to people, the conversations seem to go well. I like those I've talked to. I think I need to realize that wanting to be friendly does not erase my decades of awkwardness. Ah well. I know I'll keep getting practice with that as I keep going to rehearsals.

The ADF study group I am a part of shifted their meeting times since another member and I get out of our other commitments at 9pm. We've been starting to study Welsh. I think, despite my tendency to dabble and not progress past a certain point, that I am something of a language geek. Granted, I am likely many times over a geek of various sorts. Anyhow, the late start makes for late evenings out, but I don't mind that. Sure, I'm tired driving home. It reminds me of when I used to spend evenings up with friends back at Oswego. For as much as I have changed as a person since then, I fondly look back on those memories.

I was supposed to have a therapist appointment today. Even though I was tired and cranky when I woke up, even though the weather was crappy, I got to Unity on time. Ten minutes after I checked in, the people at the front desk said my therapist was running ten minutes late. Mind you, I need to get the car back in time for mechanchaos to leave for work. Once my watch said it was a half hour after my appointment was supposed to start, I went to the front desk to say I needed to leave. As they were refunding my co-pay, she comes in apologetic. I explained the situation and remembered to reschedule before heading out. I can understand getting caught in traffic in crappy weather, but the whole situation makes me wish I'd stayed in bed and canceled from home... Ah well. At the very least, it made me feel more responsible to get there.

I seem to be going through a lazy period. From what I'm reading on my friends list, I get the impression that I'm not the only one feeling tired or unproductive. Here's hoping I can pop open a can of motivation soonish.

Comments

[dawnstar.livejournal.com]

I was going to ask you how rehearsal was last night.

Sucks, re: therapy! You handled it far more calmly and understandingly than I think I would have in your shoes, if I'm honest about it.

I think a lot of us have one degree or another of SAD, which leads to the tiredness and unproductiveness this time of year. I so can't wait for spring.


*sends hugs and love your way*

[delleni.livejournal.com]

Your Oswego memories think fondly of you, too. :)

We so need to get together sometime! I so want to give you a long overdue hug! :)

[blackfelicula.livejournal.com]

:)

That would be fun! I wish gas wasn't so bloodsuckingly expensive... Cheaper gas would mean more road trips! In the meantime, though, I will give you lots of e-hugs! ***hugs hugs hugs hugs hugs hugs hugs hugs squeezes hugs hugs hugs hugs***

BTW - do you remember someone by the name of Brian Waters in the PSA? He's a part of the ADF study group I'm in. He says he was at Oswego and a PSA member back in the day. He seems familiar, but my memories for people I didn't personally hang out with are spotty at best. He's on lj here as greenmistletoe.

psa

[greenmistletoe.livejournal.com]

i think i was in psa either 1995 or '96
i attended a samhain ritual and i think i remember
someone by the name of mike nickols...

i also remember someone talking about seven rays book store
and a witches' almanac and someone
talking about chaos magick and a woman talking about
ayurveda..... and a guy with long hair leading the group

Re: psa

[blackfelicula.livejournal.com]

delleni above was another PSA person, Dorene in non-LJ-land. I remember when Scott (I forget his last name.) was PSA president. I remember that, before PSA became the PSA, there was a discussion group about witchcraft over on the far side of campus in one of the dorm lounges. (I lived on Lakeside.) Rob, I think, was the name of the guy into chaos magick. I remember him invoking Loki at one ritual and the rocks below the fire exploding. The faculty moderator, Ray Rodriguez, is now at Iowa State, and has an LJ by the name of witchmystic.

I remember Joe Solar, who was at one point prepping for a vision quest. He did shamanic trance work with a bunch of us at the house where Ray and his wife Justine lived.

And, I will never forget the one open ritual where I oopsed on the order of things, leaving a circle of energy in the Cayuga? lounge. For as embarrassing as it was, it was neat to have people new to paganism enter into where the circle was and exclaim about how the energy tingles. :) It helped reinforce my trust in energy work to see people who had never encountered it before confirm that it was there.

My problem is, I am terrible with names and tend to generalize faces. There are lots of times when people come up to me asking if I remember them and honestly, I don't. You look familiar. Then again, a lot of folks look familiar, sometimes because they resemble other people I've met and sometimes because I really do have a shred of non-degraded memory. Also, I have a bad habit of being terribly shy with people I don't already know. It takes me time to get to know folks to the point where I can let go with that. Kinda ironic, that. I'm a shy ham.

Anyhow, there were periods of time when I'd be busy and not a part of PSA stuff. So there's at least a chance that we wouldn't have crossed paths. That familiarity makes me wonder whether it's all in my head or not. Not certain it's something that can be cleared up for me though. Ah well.

[blackfelicula.livejournal.com]

I was mentally grouching while I was sitting there, but for some reason I'm good at sitting around doing nothing. It's not like getting upset about it would change the fact that she was stuck in traffic.

Yeah. Spring will be nice. It's nice having the days creep longer and longer in the meantime.

***hugs and loves back atcha***

[phoenixsong]

I know I've definitely been appreciative of seeing more and more sunlight on my way out of work the last 2-3 weeks. It's further motivation (some days) to get myself out of work on time instead of 10-15 minutes late.

[blackfelicula.livejournal.com]

Now, I need to work on being more regular with the sleeping so I'm not napping through a bunch of the bright part of the day...

[endlessbard.livejournal.com]

Whoa whoa whoa ... ADF study group?

More infos plz?

[blackfelicula.livejournal.com]

We're not official yet, but the core group of us has been meeting since last Autumn. Muin Mound knows of us. We've been working on learning Welsh, reading Alexei Kondratiev's The Apple Branch, practicing the Two Powers Meditation, attending holiday rituals at Muin Mound, and working on the Dedicant's Program. The mailing list we've been using to keep in contact with one another is GVDruidism (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/gvdruidism/).

weather, motivation

[greenmistletoe.livejournal.com]

weather in oswego has been strange lately
it will be nice out for a few days and then
we get a huge snowstorm of about 2 feet!
may spring arrive very soon!

since losing one of my jobs in november
i've been home alot more and this winter weather
makes me feel more like hibernating...
although if the weather is decent, then i will want to
go hiking in the forest :)

...and so my motivation is about 70% right now
compared to the summertime.

i am really enjoying the Adf study group,
...just wish i lived closer
but i forsee me getting my motivation back up to par
as the weather gets better
and hopefully making more money doing something
and then i can buy a toyota or subaru and then begin
to actually enjoy driving again...

blessings to you!

Re: weather, motivation

[blackfelicula.livejournal.com]

It's strange here too, but instead of 2 feet, we get a night of freezing rain, enough melt to turn everything into glassy puddles, a refreeze, then snow on top of that. That way, everything looks nice and pretty-white, but I go to step out of the house and fall flat on my ass. Then, half a week later, it will all melt away again. dawnstar keeps telling me this is normal. I don't think I personally believe in "normal" winters anymore.

I've been an at-home mom since Aidan was born, so I get the feeling of winter hibernation. So easy to just curl up under a blanket and read or vegetate on the computer, or play games... So easy not to get things done like practice Welsh or work on the music for choir...

At least the days are getting longer. That's helping me somewhat. I am always thankful for the growing sun this time of year.

I think it's nice that our meeting time got scootched so that Steve can go to his poetry class, I can go to RWCC rehearsals, and study group can still happen. Tuesdays are my big days out of the house now.

It seems as if money is tight for everyone about now. We were lucky. We got our Subaru Outback second-hand from my folks. I had to learn how to drive stick to use it; but now that I have, I wouldn't give it up for anything. "Family financing" on automobiles can be a damn good deal.

I'd love to scrounge up the motivation to get out and about more despite this bipolar winter. But, yeah, just getting through the week can be tough sometimes.

Do you think you'll be up for the trip in this Tuesday?

Take care and have fun!